We Grieve Because We Love
Mary Ann Bumbera • Grief Support for Animal Loss
We are all helpless in the face of death. It is a mystery that we have no means to make sense of. Both death and grief are uncomfortably painful topics mostly avoided by our society - especially when it comes to animals. The grief we feel for them is often overlooked or dismissed. Your grief matters and you don’t have to navigate this alone.
Grieving the loss of an animal is different
Unequivocally, our animals love and accept us for who we are. They quell our loneliness and deeply touch our hearts in ways that people don’t. Commonly, they are our principal emotional support. When they die we’re left staggering in grief without the emotional lifeline they gave us. Additionally, our culture doesn’t typically honor their lives with obituaries or funerals and very few employers offer bereavement leave for them. So when our animals die, they’re just….gone. Those of us whose lives have been devastated by the loss of an animal companion know that grief is not species specific. Love is love.
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
— A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
How one-on-one support can help
I offer a compassionate, non-judgmental presence to assist you in navigating your grief - a recent loss, a loss from long ago or an animal currently in hospice. Your grief journey is yours alone and I will assist you in discovering the best path forward to bring you comfort. At your pace I will gently companion you through whatever emotions grief inevitably brings - guilt, regret, anger, shame, anxiety, loneliness or relief. Allowing the ebb and flow of these emotions quiets them and in turn, self compassion gently emerges. When self compassion grows, we find peace even though the pain of absence remains. And in being with increased self compassion, it is easier to reconnect with the unbroken, everlasting love we share with our animals, even in death. Your love story matters and I would be honored to hear it.
“Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.”
-Rumi
Sometimes in our grief journey we are so lost that we don’t know what we need or want or know where to turn. If talking through things is not part of where you’re at, I can help guide you to determine your unique path of gaining resilience through resources available - books, podcasts, body movement, grief yoga, group support, breathwork, writing or art. I’m happy to help you find your way.
“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come. ”
— Rabindranath Tagore
What You’re Feeling is Normal
My journey with grief has taught me many things. Among them that there is no right or wrong way to mourn or grieve. We humans tend to categorize everything in stages, so if our grieving doesn’t follow someone else’s plan or timeline, we feel something is wrong with us, making us feel even more alone. Grief is never simple. And with our culture’s awkwardness with grief and emotional pain, we lack skills to comfort ourselves much less someone else. When we reach out for comfort, we don’t always get what our hearts need. So what do we do?